Monday, April 13, 2015

My RNY Hospital Stay

So it had been a long time coming, but I finally had my RNY Gastric Bypass on April 6th, 2015. (Two entries ago I described surgery day, which was mostly a blur.) Here's how the rest of my stay went.

I remember on Monday evening they came in to attach oxygen to me. Those little nose tube things, you know? Now, since L & K had played this before me, I knew that if I didn't want a nosebleed, I had to ask for water/humidity with the oxygen. Ask. You almost certainly need the hydration. The nurse asked if I'd been there before. I said "nope." Then she asked how I knew there was a way to attach humidity. "Well, my daughter was here last week." Oh, they liked that. lol. I got the water. They also took away my IV pole, but left the tap in my hand, so they could inject me with things later. Just go with it. It's better than them having to find another vein to inject you.

The first night and the next morning, all you're going to be thinking about is water. Seriously. Your mouth is the desert. It's awful. Every time you see a nurse, or anyone else for that matter, ask for mouth swabs. Almost all of them will be happy to get you a cup of water with a little sponge on a stick in it, so you can swab it around in your mouth. You can't actually drink any water yet, but you can suck the water out of the sponge. Some nurses are very... strict about not leaving the water with you. Other nurses trust that you know better than to start drinking it out of the cup, and leave it with you for a few minutes. Don't drink the cup. Really. They'll give you as much swab time as you want. But they're going to be mad, and you're probably going to injure yourself if you drink the cup. So don't.

Walk around if you can. Go to the bathroom and at least pee. They put a "hat" on the toilet for you to pee into. They only need you to pee in it once. Just leave it there afterward, and they'll collect it. If they leave it in the bathroom, you can probably just toss it. But you should maybe ask first. Then again, they've got more hats if they really need more pee. Now, this is probably TMI, but I didn't poop until today (4/12). Well technically it's 4/13 right now, b/c 2:00 am, but I pooped on 4/12. Everything came out fine. lol. But if you're worried, ask someone. They love it when you ask them things.

The next morning, they take you down to radiology and give you an upper GI. This one isn't like the pre-op one. This time you drink something much less dense. But by the gods, it's still hideous. I can't even describe the taste. I think it tasted like hate. I had to leave some in my mouth (K & L were not asked to leave any in their mouths), then swallow it. K's person tried to get her to drink several ounces of it. Derp, person. That doesn't fit. I bet he rethought that strategy for future RNY people, because she threw it right back up on him. LOL!!! I just had to take sips of hate drink. They told me right there at the end that everything was fine, and that they'd send the results up to the floor. AWESOME!! That meant I could have water!! Oh, beloved water. I don't even drink plain water normally. I can't stand the flat, weird lack of taste. But man, did I sip away when they let me have water.

So up in my room, the rest of my stay was basically, nurses coming in to stab me with needles (more heparin shots), inject things into my IV tap, and take my blood pressure. Watching Animal Planet or Supernatural. Now I remember why I don't have cable. I watched all of River Monsters on Animal Planet twice -- there is very nearly nothing on even remotely interesting. There were like 6 or 8 sports channels, two religion channels, a couple of serious-faced people reporting not-quite news, some obnoxious cartoons, some pre-school TV, some talk shows... basically crap. OK, back to Animal Planet. Croc Hunter reruns! Watched that at least twice, too. It's kind of depressing to watch now that Steve is gone. But not as depressing as reality TV, so... *shrug* It's like the TV people have never heard of Star Trek. Or anything else interesting. Ugh.

There was also ordering lunch. They really want you to order a ton of lunch. The lunch person calls and tells you what you can have. I got broth, water, orange Jello, and sorbet. I ate some of it, too. Jello was awesome. And I hate Jello. lol.

The last day, they taught me how to take my regular and new meds when I came home. That consisted of "smash it up in a cup with the end of a popsicle. And it won't taste nice." Nope. Nope it didn't. it was like licking uncoated aspirin and chalk, and bitterness, and it had little bitter nonpareils in it. Those were the insides of my Cymbalta. Don't have to crush those. Hint for when you go home. Cut them into pieces and swallow them with sips of your water. Don't grind them. Then you avoid the foul taste. There's nothing to be done for the colase. That's a liquid stool softener that you get separately. It's also gross. Everything they hand you is gross there unless it came from the cafeteria. Then it's only maybe gross. But bring your own protein shake if you had trouble finding one you like. You won't like theirs. I got Optimum Nutrition, I think. Strawberry. Awful. It tasted like Pepto Bismol looks. Creamy and Pink. So awful. I brought my own Isopure Black Tea. At least it wasn't creamy. And just as a note, I hate them all now. All of them. I can't even stand to bring protein shakes to my mouth. This is proving t be a problem. Fortunately, I'm in the cottage cheese stage now. I love you, cottage cheese. 25g protein per cup. I can only fit 1/3 cup at a time, but I'm going to try and get up to 6 of those 1/3 cups over the day. lol. Then I don't have to drink any protein shakes.

I also can't stand the canned cream soups that we're allowed to have. I have a plan to defeat them, though. I'm going to cook my own cream soup. Yep. Cream of I Don't Know What Yet. Probably chicken. And maybe mushrooms. Not sure. But I'm going to cook up the cream soup, and then instead of straining it, I'm going to puree the crap out of it. I should be able to do that in my Ninja food processor (Master Prep Professional). Love that. I got mine at Ocean State Job Lot (which is probably not in your area), but you can get them at WalMart/Target/K-Mart/whatever. It lives up to the hype. Blades all the way through the container so the stuff doesn't get stuck at the bottom? Yes! I just wish they made a cheap-level blender. In fact, I'd really like a personal-sized blender where you just stick your cup on the motor and then take it off and bring it with you. Because we do have a regular full sized blender from Oster. But Magic/Nutri Bullet seems a bit pricey for what I want. Idk. I'll let you know if I find a convenient one. Currently looking at one by Cuisinart on Amazon. I hope I don't hate smoothies. Hell, you know, actually I wish I could have afforded one of those super fancy Ninja processor/blender combo things. Have you seen those? They're like witchcraft. lol. I'm pretty sure at least one of them can make warm soup. The Ninja site has them here.

Anyway, see you next time. BTW, I don't do "affiliate" links at this time (and most likely won't in the future -- too much effort), and I'm not trying to sell you anything. I don't get anything if you buy/like/whatever something I linked to. I just like linking to things.

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